"Before Janet..." he said, his tone turning darker, "I actually tried to end my life."
Martha’s breath caught."But every ti... sothing stopped ."
He looked at her, his eyes distant.
"News about my missing sister... or sothing about my parents..."
He exhaled slowly.
"It was like fate wouldn’t let give up."
Then, his expression softened as he looked directly at her. "I’m sorry."
His voice carried no hesitation this ti.
"I’m genuinely sorry for finding a substitute. I won’t dress it up as sothing noble."
He lowered his gaze. "I was wrong."
A brief pause. "And if I get the chance... I want to fix it."
Martha took a slow, steady breath, her eyes narrowing slightly.
"If you two were a couple..." she began, her tone sharp and probing, "did you ever sleep with her?"
The question cut through the air like a blade.
Kael shook his head imdiately, letting out a small, awkward chuckle.
"You might think I’m lying... or that I’m just trying to make myself look better," he said. "Maybe even a scumbag."
He leaned back slightly. "But the truth is... I only supported her financially."
He paused. "We never even had a proper conversation."
Martha frowned slightly.
"We never went on a date... never even considered dating."
His voice was firm now.
"I made it clear to her from the beginning... I would only help her financially. Nothing more."
A faint crease appeared on his forehead as he recalled those monts.
"There were tis she tried to get closer... tried to cross that line," he admitted. "But I always kept my distance."
He sighed. "I even thought of cutting off the support entirely."
He glanced away briefly. "But she understood eventually... and stopped."
A bitter smile tugged at his lips. "After that, she started dating other people."
He looked back at Martha.
"I wasn’t jealous because she was seeing others..."
His voice grew quieter.
"But because every ti she went out with soone... she resembled you even more."
His fingers tightened slightly. "There were monts I wanted to stop her..."
He let out a hollow laugh. "But I didn’t have the right to say anything."
A pause. "Because in the end... I never truly loved her."
Silence fell. Martha didn’t respond imdiately.
Kael watched her carefully, his chest tightening.
This was the first ti he genuinely wanted to know what she was thinking.
"What are you thinking right now?" he asked quietly.
’Is she disgusted...? Will she throw out...? Or will she just... stay silent...?’
Sure enough, Martha looked at him and let out a soft, humorless chuckle. The sound carried a faint bitterness, like sothing long fernted.
"So even after all that..." she said, her eyes locking onto his, "it still doesn’t justify your behavior."
Kael didn’t argue. He simply nodded, his shoulders slightly slumped as if he had already accepted that verdict long ago.
"I know," he replied quietly.
Martha leaned back in her chair. Her fingers tapped lightly against the armrest, but her gaze remained sharp.
"What if," she continued slowly, each word deliberate, "in the future we actually end up together... and then I die?"
The question hung in the air, heavy and suffocating.
"Would you look for another substitute again?" she pressed. "Would you sponsor soone else... just because they resemble ?"
Her lips curved faintly, but there was no warmth in it. "Wouldn’t that still be cheating?"
Kael fell silent.
Martha chuckled again, this ti colder.
"The only reason you even thought of finding a substitute," she went on, "was because you believed we would never have a chance together."
She leaned forward slightly, her eyes narrowing. "So instead, you chose the easier path."
Her voice sharpened.
"You supported soone who looked like ... so you could convince yourself that you were still ’pure.’"
Her fingers curled slightly on the table.
"You didn’t have to date soone else... and at the sa ti, you got the illusion that you were still giving everything to your first love."
A pause. "It was nothing but a delusion."
"No."
Kael’s voice cut through the air abruptly.
This ti, it wasn’t soft or hesitant. It carried a tremor... not of uncertainty but of sothing deeper, sothing closer to anger.
He looked straight at her, his eyes serious, almost burning.
"I might have... projected you onto her," he admitted, his jaw tightening. "But don’t twist it into sothing like that."
His voice lowered.
"I was never imagining that I was dating you through her. That’s not what it was."
He paused, his breath uneven. "I did it because..."
But then... he stopped. The words died in his throat.
Martha’s eyes narrowed instantly. "See?" she said sharply. "Why did you stop?"
She tilted her head slightly, her gaze piercing.
"What happened? You can’t justify it anymore?"
Her voice dropped, colder than before.
"Or are you finally realizing that it was cheating?"
Kael clenched his fists tightly, his knuckles turning pale. His gaze fell to the ground, as if he could no longer et hers.
The silence stretched painfully.
Then, without another word, he stood up and walked out.
The door shut with a quiet but final click.
Martha remained still, her chest rising and falling unevenly.
She was furious. But beneath that anger... sothing else crept in.
A strange heaviness. For the first ti, she had seen Kael look completely defeated.
’Why... does that bother ...?’
.....................................
By the ti evening arrived, the golden light outside had dimd into a dull gray. Martha finally finished her work, her eyes sore and her mind restless.
She glanced at the table.
The lunch Kael had brought sat there untouched, long gone cold.
Her lips pressed into a thin line.
Without thinking much, she picked it up and walked out.
She handed the food to a charity, forcing a small nod before turning away.
Her steps slowed as she found herself standing in front of Kael’s apartnt building.
’Why am I here...?’
She exhaled softly. ’I should just leave...’
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