But just as she turned slightly toward his door... the door next to his opened.
Felix stepped out.
The mont his eyes landed on Martha, his face turned pale.
He imdiately walked toward her. Martha blinked, slightly taken aback.
"What are you doing here?" she asked, her brows furrowing.
Felix stopped in front of her and lowered his head slightly.
"I’m sorry," he said quickly. "About what I said before."
Martha frowned.
"You don’t need to apologize," she replied. "You told the truth. That wasn’t wrong."
Felix took a deep breath, his expression conflicted.
"There are things... you need to know," he said. "Before you keep being angry at him."
Martha crossed her arms lightly. "Go on."
Felix hesitated, glancing toward his apartnt. "Not here," he said. "Co inside first."
After a brief pause, Martha followed him in.
Felix closed the door behind them and turned to face her.
"What I’m about to tell you..." he began slowly, "just try not to bla Kael imdiately."
Martha narrowed her eyes. "That depends on what you’re about to say."
Felix fell silent again, clearly struggling.
Then, as if making a decision, he nodded to himself.
"Alright," he muttered. "I’ll show you."
He walked to a cupboard and pulled out a book.
For a mont, he just stood there, staring at it, his grip tightening slightly as if it carried more weight than it should.
Then he handed it to her.
Martha took it, her fingers brushing against its rough, worn cover.
It looked old, at least two or three years old, maybe more. The edges were slightly frayed, the surface carrying faint scratches.
She opened it. Her breath stilled.
It was Kael’s diary.
Her eyes flickered across the pages. The ink had faded slightly, but the words were still clear, written years ago, long before today, long before everything had beco so complicated.
She looked up at Felix. "Why are you giving this?"
Felix’s jaw tightened slightly.
"Because you deserve to know the whole truth," he said. "Even if this... ruins everything."
Martha’s heart skipped. Slowly, she turned the page. The first entries spoke of her.
Of how much he missed her.
He had written about going back to the college... sitting on the benches where she used to sit... lingering in places she once walked through.
There were entries about a café she used to visit.
He had gone there too. Just to feel closer to her.
Martha’s fingers trembled slightly as she turned another page.
Then...her eyes widened faintly.
There were entries about small acts of revenge. Her lips almost twitched.
Each one ntioned people from her university days... bullies who had mocked her for being a "nerd" or for being too focused or too different.
Kael had written their nas down.
And later... he had made sure they paid for it when they entered the corporate world.
’This guy... seriously ...’
A strange mix of emotions stirred inside her. Another page. The tone shifted.
He wrote about stress... his family, his responsibilities, the company... and above all, the unbearable feeling of not being able to see her.
Then...her breath caught.
An entry about self-harm.
He had written about how much he missed her... how the absence was suffocating him... how he didn’t know what to do anymore.
The words felt raw, almost desperate, as if they had been carved straight out of his soul.
Her throat tightened.
He wrote about how he couldn’t live without seeing her... how he was searching for her everywhere... how he kept asking...
’Where are you...?’
It felt as though the diary itself was speaking directly to her.
Martha swallowed hard, trying to push down the lump forming in her throat as her vision blurred slightly.
There were a few more entries.
So spoke of how he no longer wanted to live, the words uneven and shaky, as if written with trembling hands. Others repeated the sa desperate wish again and again...
’I just want to see her... one last ti ...’
Then...there was a new entry.
Martha’s fingers paused for a mont before she turned the page.
In that entry, he had written about eting a girl... soone who resembled her.
The words were conflicted, almost broken.
’I feel guilty... but for the first ti in so long... I feel happy... just because she looks like you ...’
Martha’s vision blurred.
Tears welled up in her eyes, spilling over before she could stop them.
For the first ti... she truly understood.
’So it wasn’t easy for him either ...’
All this ti, she had thought his life had been smooth, privileged, untouched by hardship. But this... this diary told a completely different story.
Yet even then...
She couldn’t bring herself to apologize.
There was no regret for how she had treated him.
But...
’I understand now... why he did it ...’
Humans were complicated. Feelings were even more so.
Slowly, she closed the diary, her fingers lingering on its worn cover before handing it back to Felix.
"Thank you," she said quietly.
Without waiting for a response, she turned and walked toward the door.
Felix hesitated. "Martha ..."
She stopped and glanced back. Felix’s voice softened.
"If Kael had truly loved that substitute... he would have chased her by now."
He swallowed slightly.
"He wouldn’t still be wandering around you... like this."
Martha let out a faint, bitter chuckle.
"You might understand him better," she said, "because he’s your brother."
Her eyes hardened slightly. "But try looking at it from my perspective too."
She held his gaze. "If I were in his place... and he were in mine ..."
A pause. "Would you still be able to justify it?"
Felix fell silent. The answer ford instantly in his mind...
No.
If his brother had suffered through one-sided love... only to later find out that the person he loved had liked him too... but had still gone on to support soone else just because they resembled him...
He wouldn’t have accepted it. Not at all.
His throat tightened, but no words ca out. Martha turned and walked away.
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