Church knew that the reason Palr’s emotions were gradually becoming unfamiliar might be the gap of ti and space, causing the originally close emotional connection to gradually beco distant. Although Palr and they shared beautiful tis, the crossing of ti and space led to the loss of shared experiences and life between them, which played a crucial role in maintaining emotional connections.
What about himself?
The silhouette of the girl flashed before Church’s eyes. Indeed, in the comparison with his diary, he found his missing mories related to a girl nad Afeiya.
It was under her influence that Church began gardening, a hobby completely at odds with his character.
In the diary, there is a lot written about Afeiya, describing her close relationship with himself, yet it never explicitly described his feelings for her.
Even a fool could see through this.
He "once" liked Afeiya, he even cared for a pot of alum root for her very well.
And then the saddening thing happened, he forgot Afeiya. Everything in the diary proved the existence of that emotion, but now no matter how many words the diary spent, to Church, Afeiya was just a complete stranger.
The dislocation of emotions made Church feel a sense of misplaced confusion.
What alard Church even more was Palr’s next words.
"Where are we going?" Church suddenly realized that after being taken into the car, they hadn’t ntioned where they were going.
"Taking you to see Afeiya," Palr said, "I was there a few days ago. Afeiya said you babbled a lot and left, scaring the poor girl quite a bit. This ti I’m taking you to see her so she knows you’re not missing an arm or a leg."
"But she doesn’t know this version of ." Church wasn’t wearing a mask now.
"Then put the mask on."
"I don’t want to wear a mask anymore."
Palr paused for a mont before saying, "You’re right, you can’t live behind a mask forever, then let’s start afresh! Have you thought of how to greet her?"
Church thought he could dispel Palr’s intention, but Palr seed determined to take him to et Afeiya, fulfilling the wish of the "past self."
Church disliked this very much, intensely disliked it, and the sense of dislocation inside grew stronger.
He rembered the knowledge described in books, the issue involving the relationship between human mory and emotional connection, which is especially important for soone like him experiencing amnesia.
In such a situation, he realized he once liked Afeiya, but since he had forgotten her, he couldn’t directly feel his current feelings for her.
Church ford a kind of abstract emotional mory similar to "my past self liked her," but this emotion might not be as specific or real as before.
This ans Church’s feelings for Afeiya may differ from the past, similar to real-life where people don’t necessarily maintain deep feelings for everyone they once liked, like in Palr’s story, those feelings fade over ti.
"Humans are truly complex."
Church suddenly muttered to himself, his words drowned by the singing, as Palr’s head bobbed side to side like a straw.
"Valentine! Valentine!"
Palr recently loved this song, and from seeing Bologue unconsciously hum along, under Palr’s influence, this song must have been listened to nearly a hundred tis by now... Even soone like Bologue, under such intensive imrsion, has started becoming peculiar.
Okay, let’s further sort out my thoughts, it’s like a person who has never eaten strawberry ice cream but hears others say it’s delicious. This person may imagine so feelings from others’ descriptions but can’t directly experience it.
Church got caught in such a dilemma, and Afeiya was like the strawberry ice cream in the example.
The blurred mories beca clearer. Church recognized the streets around, knowing he was getting closer to Afeiya’s flower shop.
A strong anxiety rose in Church’s heart, prompting him to throw out one question after another, like what if the "current" self doesn’t like strawberry ice cream?
Just thinking about eting Afeiya and not feeling any real emotions for her, Church felt a certain sense of loss and anxiety, he started doubting his feelings, thinking his past emotions were just illusions or mistakes.
But he also felt that such loss and doubt didn’t an his feelings were without value or significance; he indeed described many things related to Afeiya in the diary, even tended to a pot of alum root and had a book about plant care.
Just as Church was caught in a storm of thoughts, the car stopped, without realizing it, they had arrived at the flower shop, feeling uneasy, Church opened the car door.
After a month of rebuilding, much of the damage from the Spread of Decay had been repaired, including Afeiya’s flower shop. It looked much changed but also bore familiar traces from mory.
"The business is unexpectedly good." Palr remarked.
The usually sparse custor flower shop now had many custors, large swathes of flowers blood, the rich scent rolled over, making Palr feel he might develop a pollen allergy.
"In my mory, the business was never this good." Church said.
"That’s right. When the Spread of Decay swept the city, Afeiya opened the doors saving many people, but this also let the mist flood inside, nearly killing all the flowers, they all withered."
Palr recounted things Church didn’t know.
"After it ended, although Afeiya protected many people, she couldn’t keep her flower shop open; those she helped pooled resources to rebuild the shop, everyone contributed what they could, importing many types of flowers."
Palr added, "By the way, her story even made it to the newspapers, after so promotion, her business bood, plus the fog hanging over the city finally disappeared, the sunlight shined brightly, and finally people got the chance to decorate life with flowers."
Before he finished speaking, Palr raised his hand and shouted loudly.
"Hey! Afeiya!"
Palr had a talent for socializing.
Afeiya, who was busy, was halted by the voice, took notice of Palr, handed her work to others, and walked over with a smile.
"Hello there."
Palr didn’t ntion that he also contributed significantly to the flower shop’s rebuilding. After all, this was related to Church. Palr might not have much money, but the Clarks were financially strong.
"You indeed have grown quite a bit."
At the end of the storm, Fuen approvingly acknowledged Palr, marking the end of the Clarks’ years-long economic sanctions against him.
After greeting Palr and Bologue, Afeiya then noticed the slightly reserved stranger standing behind them.
Even though a stranger, Afeiya saw many familiar traces on him but couldn’t say exactly where the familiarity lay.
Afeiya stepped forward, extending her hand amicably.
"Hello there."
Church stood there dazed, first looking at Afeiya’s outstretched hand, her fingertips glowing pink under sunlight, then he looked at Afeiya’s face. Noticing Church’s gaze, Afeiya showed a friendly smile.
An incredibly heartwarming smile.
For a mont, Church’s mind went blank, the whole journey of self-examination and philosophical contemplation was swept into the trash, laughing at the constantly self-doubting version of himself on the road.
Church rembered a question he thought of while going through the diary, how could soone so cold and isolated, a life-fractured Narrow Space Walker, possibly fall in love with another person.
Could he truly fall in love with soone?
Now Church knew.
Church nervously shook Afeiya’s hand, showing a friendly smile, and just as he was about to say sothing, Afeiya suddenly moved closer, looking at him thoroughly with wandering eyes, finally locking onto Church’s pupils.
Afeiya knew where the odd familiarity ca from. Without waiting for Church to introduce himself, she cautiously spoke.
"I guess your na is Church Burton, right?"
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