Han Yu wasn’t wrong. Even in his hotown, there were elderly Qi Refining cultivators. Reaching the Core Condensation Realm certainly slowed aging—but not to this extent.
A hundred-year-old might not look ancient, but they’d at least look like soone you’d avoid in a tavern brawl.
"That’s... just a side effect of a pill I ate," Li i admitted.
Han Yu furrowed his brows.
"Did you just say you made an anti-aging pill?" he asked slowly.
Even for Han Yu, that sounded like a big deal. A huge deal.
He could already see the business opportunity. Who wouldn’t want to stay young? There would be millions of female cultivators lining up for this.
"You’re telling ... you made a pill that could earn enough spirit stones to buy the sect, and you’re just here... rubbing rat feet with peanut oil?"
"Research takes many forms," Li i said, flipping her notepad with unnecessary drama. "Also, I’m not giving that pill to anyone. The last person I tested it on grew a second youth... and a second nose."
"...What the..." Han Yu blinked.
"Besides, I made that pill accidentally when I was still a new disciple and just getting into alchemy. I didn’t even take proper notes, so I don’t exactly know what I added to it." She sounded genuinely regretful. "I’ve tried to recreate it, but nothing’s worked. The other pill I kind of managed to replicate only reduced the age of that servant by five years... and added another nose."
Han Yu stared at her in silence, trying to process what sort of divine madness he had stepped into.
He took a sip of water, looked back at the glowing rat feet, and sighed deeply.
"Well... if you ever manage to make it again, I have an investnt deal to talk to you about."
"I’ll think about it," Li i replied, already reaching for another pill.
"For now though, ti to test out another pill!" she said with excitent.
"What does this one do?" Han Yu asked fearfully.
"That’s what we’re going to find out," Li i said, eyes sparkling in a way that should’ve been illegal.
"Fuck ..." Han Yu muttered.
He downed the pill with copious amounts of water, praying to every celestial beast in the heavens that this wouldn’t be how he died.
A minute passed. Nothing.
"Huh... nothing," Han Yu said, surprised. "A dud?"
"Shouldn’t be," Li i replied, flipping through her notes. "It had the extract of a ten-year-old Red Lingzhi, Galloping Fla Steed Blood, and so miscellaneous vitality crystals."
"How much does all that cost?" Han Yu asked, alarm bells ringing.
"Like... three hundred spirit stones?" she said, way too casually.
COUGH COUGH COUGH
Han Yu choked on literal air.
"Three—THREE HUNDRED SPIRIT STONES!?" He felt like he had just eaten a treasure vault. "You fed a three-hundred-spirit-stone pill?! And it doesn’t even work?! You couldn’t have just given the spirit stones?! I’d have turned my life around!"
"It’s just three hundred spirit stones." Li i waved it off like he was overreacting. "I spent more on the last pill you ate. Though that one at least gave you clairvoyance, so... fair trade."
"H-How much was that worth?" Han Yu asked with dread.
"A thousand spirit stones."
Han Yu’s brain shut down.
He swayed, spun in a slow circle like a sad top, and collapsed to the ground with a soft thud.
Sigh.
"Now I can’t even tell if this was due to the pill or just shock," Li i said, scratching her head.
She crouched beside the unconscious boy for a mont before shrugging. Her eyes slowly drifted toward the pot of stew bubbling on the fire. Inspiration struck.
"Hehe, he won’t mind these, will he?" she giggled, adding a few ’extras’ into the pot—one of which looked suspiciously like a human-shaped femur.
Han Yu didn’t know how long he’d been out, but when he ca to, the air was filled with the sll of sothing savory and suspicious.
"What slls so good?" he mumbled, blinking himself back to life.
GROOOAN.
His stomach let out a threatening rumble, as if declaring war on his insides.
"You’re awake! And here I thought you wouldn’t wake up before dinner." Li i said, stirring the pot like a suspicious witch from a folktale.
"You made food?" Han Yu asked, cautiously optimistic.
"Of course! All for you."
That alone made Han Yu deeply suspicious.
"Sothing’s wrong..." he whispered.
He spotted several empty boxes near the pot, each labeled with nas like ’Explosive Lotus Root’, ’Howling Herb’, and ’Snake Vine (Possibly Venomous)’.
"At this point... I’m afraid to even ask what’s in the soup."
Li i gave him her most innocent smile. "Don’t worry. Only three ingredients are technically forbidden by the sect."
"...Technically?"
Han Yu stared into the bubbling pot with a mix of horror and fascination.
"So... technically forbidden?" he asked, voice cautious, like a man unsure if he was about to eat soup or summon a demon.
"Yes," Li i nodded. "They’re only listed under ’Absolutely Do Not Ingest Unless You Have a Death Wish’—not outright banned."
"Wonderful," Han Yu muttered, leaning back as the pot continued to bubble ominously. "If I grow a tail, I’m suing."
"You’d need spirit stones to sue," Li i replied smoothly. "And you’re still two failed errands and one sock theft away from being demoted to Mop Boy Fourth Class."
Han Yu flinched.
"Speaking of the sock," he said, narrowing his eyes, "how did they find out it was ?"
Li i blinked. "Oh. That? Easy. Rat snitch."
"WHAT?!"
"Yeah. Warlord Sniffles apparently told the kitchen mice, who told the East Storeroom mice, who squeaked at a bird, who chirped to Elder Jiang’s parrot, who then shouted ’Sock thief Han Yu! Sock thief Han Yu!’ during morning ditation."
Han Yu looked like he aged five years on the spot. "You’re telling I got exposed... by a ga of rodent telephone?!"
"It’s a surprisingly effective intelligence network," Li i said matter-of-factly, flipping through her notes. "They once helped smuggle fernted ghost mushrooms across sect lines."
Han Yu buried his face in his hands. "This sect is insane."
"No," Li i said with a smug grin. "This sect is efficient."
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