Having learned about the ga of rat-telephone Han Yu felt scamd.
’I’m the one that’s supposed to be scamming others...’ he thought before his stomach rumbled again.
"Co on now, eat. You should eat food at the right tis. It’s necessary for growing children you know?" Li i nagged him on.
Han Yu stared at the bubbling pot with the solemn resignation of a man attending his own funeral.
He sniffed. The aroma was deceptively appetizing—rich, earthy, and with a subtle kick of herbs that whispered, "You might survive this."
His stomach had other opinions. It roared again, more forceful this ti, like an angry spirit demanding sacrifice.
With trembling hands, Han Yu picked up the offered bowl.
"You... sure it’s safe?" he asked.
Li i gave a smile that was entirely too confident. "Han Yu, I’m at least 78% sure it won’t kill you."
"Those odds are lower than the pill you gave that made see a vision of my own funeral."
"That was just the clairvoyance. This is totally different."
"...Fine."
He took a spoonful. Then another. Then three more.
It was, against all expectations, delicious.
"Huh," Han Yu blinked. "This is actually really—"
GURGLE.
The sound ca not from the soup, but from deep within his own body. A low, ominous bubbling that echoed like the drums of war.
"Uh oh," Li i said, scooting back a little. "Did you hear that too, or...?"
Han Yu’s eyes went wide. He clutched his stomach.
"Wh-why is my spleen vibrating—WHY IS MY SPLEEN VIBRATING?!" Han Yu didn’t even know how to locate his spleen but knew it was the spleen instinctively.
He doubled over, groaning in pain. His skin flushed purple. Then green. Then spotted, like an angry banana.
"OH NO. My eyeballs are sweating."
"Those are tears but okay. And yeah, might’ve added a little too much Fever Vine..." Li i mumbled, taking notes.
Han Yu gasped. "You put Fever Vine in this?! That stuff causes even cultivators to get sick and burn up like they were put on a furnace!"
"Only if mixed with volatile herbs like—oh." Her eyes landed on a nearby empty box labeled Explosive Lotus Root.
"YOU’RE KILLING !" Han Yu shouted, collapsing onto his side like a tragic hero in a low-budget opera.
"I didn’t an to!" Li i insisted, poking him with a ladle. "You looked hungry!"
"OH GODS, I CAN TASTE COLORS AGAIN!" Han Yu wailed. "THE SKY IS LAUGHING AT !"
He began convulsing slightly, limbs flailing as a violent energy went wild in his ridians. A wave of sickly green qi pulsed from his abdon, then blue, then a weird plaid pattern that even confused Li i.
"This is... new," she admitted, scribbling furiously.
Just as Han Yu was about to pass out—again—a warmth spread through his belly.
Wait... not just warmth.
Power.
A deep, rumbling force began to rise from his dantian. The pain vanished. The hallucinations faded. His limbs stopped flailing.
Han Yu blinked. The world stopped spinning. His skin regained its normal color. His spleen stopped doing the cha-cha.
"What the...?" he whispered.
Li i leaned forward. "Wait. Sothing’s happening."
Han Yu’s body suddenly trembled—no, humd with energy. A rush of vital energy surged through his veins. His muscles tightened, his skin glowed faintly, and his muscles crackled with renewed force.
Then—
BOOM!
A small explosion of aura erupted from within him, knocking over a stack of rat foot samples. Han Yu floated briefly two inches off the ground, limbs outstretched like a poorly constructed martial arts statue.
"He’s—he’s ascending!" Li i shouted. "No wait, he can’t ascend. He’s not at the right stage for it." She corrected herself.
Han Yu’s eyes snapped open. They glowed faintly for a second.
He gasped.
"I—I just broke through...!"
He stood slowly, flexing his arms.
"I reached the Ninth Stage of Body Tempering!"
Li i blinked. "Wait, seriously?"
Han Yu nodded, dumbfounded. "I was stuck at the Seventh Stage for just two months and now I—"
The Eighth to Tenth Stage of the Body Tempering Realm involved tempering one’s blood vessels. This was in preparation for the Qi Refining realm as one needed strong blood vessels before they could handle Sprit qi.
After all, it was the blood vessels through which Spirit Qi first traveled before finally entering ridians.
Han Yu sensed the changes in his body and could feel the rich vital energy flowing through his blood vessels, showing the truth to him.
He paused. "Wait. It was the pill! That ’dud’ pill! It must’ve activated when the poison started trying to kill !"
"Huh... I guess the ingredients had a delayed synergistic resonance once exposed to the near-death state caused by the stew," Li i theorized.
"Translation?"
"You almost died, but the pill kicked in and punched the poison in the face." Li i dumbed it down for the boy. ’Still to think he’d breakthrough two stages in one go... The effects were stronger than I thought.’ Li i noted down a few more lines.
Han Yu looked down at his hands, now radiating a faint golden sheen.
"This... is insane. I feel stronger. Clearer. Hungrier." He paused. "Wait no. That might be lingering food hallucinations. I still taste pineapple."
"There was no pineapple in the stew." Li i said before she clapped her hands. "Han Yu, this is perfect! I need to recreate this exact sequence of events!"
Han Yu paled. "I am NOT eating any more mystery stew."
"Just a small batch!"
"You almost killed !"
"Yes, but then you had a miraculous breakthrough. Win-win!"
"That’s a win for you! I nearly pooped out my soul!"
"But you didn’t. That’s the important part."
Han Yu groaned and flopped back onto the floor, now a stronger, more energy dense version of himself, but still a man with trust issues and light trauma.
"I swear, if my kidneys start glowing tomorrow, I’m defecting to another sect."
Li i smiled sweetly and made a note that said:
"Possibly glowing kidneys. Record and harvest if necessary."
"WHAT ARE YOU WRITING?!"
"Nothing!"
Sowhere in the room, a rat squeaked approvingly.
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